Some Stuff I want to Remember

Writer's Block: Mysterious benefactor

2009-10-29T18:25:21Z

If you could give a secret gift of any value to one anonymous recipient, who would you choose and what would you give them?

Submitted By enchantra71

View 791 Answers

I would bestow a big box of poop upon two of my best friend's first husband's sisters. They tried to help take her children and one of them called me a whore in front of my boys. They'd probably enjoy the poop. Maybe I should throw holy water on them instead.

Writer's Block: I Love My Body Because…

2009-08-14T06:32:26Z

Why do you love your body?

Sponsored by Body by Victoria® from Victoria's Secret.

View 517 Answers

I don't love my body!! It is absolutely hideous! I weigh 267 pounds. How could I love my body? Mercy sakes alive. Victoria don't have a secret big enough for me.

Writer's Block: Busting Blocks

2009-07-01T22:00:47Z

It's blockbuster season in movie theaters. What was the last movie you saw?

View 500 Answers

Transformers 2. It was aweshum!!

Writer's Block: When I Was Young

2009-06-23T19:34:36Z

What do you miss most about being a kid?

Submitted By daeinleyof

View 505 Answers

I miss being able to run, roller skate, do toe touch jumps, climb to the top of the mountain, sleep on my stomach, wear whatever I want and see my feet when I look down.

Writer's Block: Conversion Rate

2009-06-18T01:45:56Z

Have you ever considered converting to another religion?

View 504 Answers

I have considered switching to Catholicism from Protestantism but never considered switching divinities or anything drastic. And no.... I have never even briefly considered switching to the Church of Ceiling Cat.

Writer's Block: Talking Ducks

2009-06-09T23:39:04Z

Happy birthday, Donald Duck! Which cartoon character do you think is the most disturbing?

View 500 Answers

Mr. Magoo. Why would anybody enjoy watching Mr. Magoo?
There's some freaky shit on Popeye too. And Woody Woodpecker is insufferable. And ALL that old black and white Disney stuff with those crazy walk sequences and everything bobbing up and down and freaking out all over the place, eyes bugging out and what not to the beat of bizarre music. That stuff always bothers me.

Writer's Block: Places to Lay Your Head

2009-05-26T12:16:48Z

How many different places (cities, houses, apartments, dorm rooms, etc.) have you lived in? Which is your favorite? And your least favorite?

View 503 Answers

I had two dorm rooms in college. I liked the second, a private room, because my roommate in the first was a cunt monster. I lived in the city briefly when I was in my early twenties. I stayed sick all the time, probably from the pollution. I have always lived in the country, as far back in the sticks as you can possibly imagine, so city life was bad for me. People made fun of my accent. It was like Ellie Mae goes to Manhattan or something. "Wull howdy! Youn's wanna rassle?" is apparently not a good pick up line when looking for a feller in the big city.
I have lived in several houses, all in the Boonies. We always had vast quantities of flora and fauna. The feral hogs were the scariest and I learned quickly that I needed slugs in my shotgun to send them packing.
Now we live in a rather normal, townhouse style apartment. We are still in the country and still have loads of critters running about including a large clutter of cats I have accumulated as my crazy cat lady starter kit. They reside under the building, as is proper in these parts, except for the Mama cat Rosie who spends equal amounts of time in the house and out. She is not supposed to be inside because we rent, but we are dastardly rule breakers.
I hope to eventually live somewhere I really like. Clearwater Florida or Myrtle Beach would be nice. I could handle Arizona because my allergies were nonexistent there. Somewhere besides here would be lovely as long as it was not too urban.

Writer's Block: There Can Be Only One

2009-05-22T19:21:33Z

Do you believe in monogamy?

View 501 Answers

Yes. One had better believe in monogamy or else one will be believing in the valtrex and the antibiotics if one is lucky enough not to catch something worse.

Writer's Block: Teenagers & Car Accidents

2009-05-21T02:45:53Z

Why do you think teenagers are involved in more car crashes than any other age group?

Sponsored by Allstate. Learn more at allstate.com/STANDUP

View 500 Answers

They drive too fast. They drive and talk on the phone. They drive and text. They hotrod. They drive and study, drive and eat, drive and goof off with friends in their cars, they race, they fiddle with the radio and cds and mp3 players and ipods. They put on lip gloss and zit cream and pluck their eyebrows while they drive. They download stuff on their smart phones while driving. They don't have a lot of driving experience on top of all that.
I am not being critical because I used to be a teenager driving 70 in a 45 zone, eating, studying, messing with the radio, applying blush, etc. We didn't have mp3 players and cell phones back when dinosaurs roamed the earth but I was still lucky to have made it to 20 alive.

Writer's Block: Licensed to Drive

2009-05-20T02:48:11Z

Should we just be handing over the car keys when kids turn 16? Why or why not?

Sponsored by Allstate. Learn more at allstate.com/STANDUP

View 500 Answers

NO NO NO NO!!! I think kids should drive a year or so before they're turned loose alone with the car.

Writer's Block: Home Cooking

2009-05-09T22:05:16Z

This morning. Bacon and eggs. Cooked for the kids too. Getting ready to cook for myself again. I am a mom so I cook almost every day. The question should have been "When was the last time someone cooked for you?

What is your favorite urban legend? Have you or anyone you know ever been fooled by one?

Submitted By mercyb

View 500 Answers

" I would not remember when that was.

Writer's Block: Protecting America from another financial catastrophe

2009-05-07T00:05:56Z

What can the government do to protect America from another financial catastrophe?

Sponsored by Allstate. Learn more at allstate.com/fedreg.

View 375 Answers

It can stop throwing our money into earmarked, pork projects we don't want it thrown into. (I gots me a list of 'em if anyone wants to see.) If they're going to do something unusual with our money, give it back to us so we can spend it! Pay off some mortages for some regular people who are facing hard times instead of paying for pig stink research. How about paying off some people's cars? Betcha that would help the people AND the vehicle industry. Pay some struggling people's car insurance for a month or two instead of using it for things people have no interest in.
This is America. We bounced back from the Great Depression. Leave Capitolism alone and let it work! Leave the ebbing, flowing econonomy alone and let it fix itself. STOP SPENDING!!! BOTH PARTIES need to stop spending!!!! And if you're determined to spend, spend wisely.

Writer's Block: Swine Times

2009-04-30T19:36:40Z

Are you worried about catching the swine flu? Do you have a plan for avoiding contagion or dealing with quarantine?

View 501 Answers

Not really. Apparently our usual strains of flu are worse than this. Flu kills thousands every year so I am more afraid of that than swine flu.
Do pigs get swine flu? How did humans first get swine flu from pigs? Were they eating them? Allowing them to live inside their homes? I have two sons who are as messy as hogs. I hope they don't give me swine flu.

Writer's Block: Community-Minded

2009-04-30T01:00:50Z

The first LiveJournal communities began in December of 2000, and now there's a community for any and every topic possible. What is your all-time favorite LJ community?

View 500 Answers

Cat Macros is my favorite. One would think a community made for posting captioned pictures of cats would be calm but there is quite a bit of drama there. No mercy is had on trolls there. It is wonderful.

Writer's Block: Wild Life

2009-04-29T02:46:59Z

How long could you survive on your own in the wild?

View 500 Answers

Shoot, I was raised in the wild. Just drop me off near a creek. I know what you can and can't eat. I know how to make crude tools, kinda like a monkey. I can't, however, make fire with two sticks. I'd have to eat my fish raw. Hopefully, I'd have a gun, lots of ammo, and a lighter. I'd make it until the temperature dropped below zero anyway. I have lots of fat stored up to keep me alive. I could probably do ok for a month or two without a bite.

Writer's Block: Musical Affliction

2009-04-27T11:17:20Z

Have you had an earworm lately? Exorcise it by inflicting it on your friendslist. Post the lyrics or - even better - a video.

View 500 Answers

Oh yes. The kids have Guitar Hero and "Mr Crowley" by Ozzy Osbourne seems to be easy to play or something because that is all I heard yesterday. The song makes absolutely no sense but has been stuck in my head ever since. Considering who it is about it may really NEED to be exorcised from my head.

Writer's Block: Philanthropy

2009-04-26T19:01:35Z

Do you volunteer your time or donate money to any charitable organizations? Which ones, and why?

View 500 Answers

March of Dimes and Friends of the Shelter.

Writer's Block: LiveJournal Book Club

2009-04-25T17:38:52Z

Out of all of your favorite books, pick just one you'd recommend everyone read. As a bonus: why did you pick that one?

View 505 Answers

Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz. It has suspense, spookiness, adventure, humor and romance but no filth. Dean Koontz is indescribably good. I recommend almost all his work.

Writer's Block: Going Greener

2009-04-22T13:45:47Z

How could you better “green” your life? What’s holding you back?

Sponsored by One Million Acts of Green brought to you by Cisco.

View 314 Answers

I'm sure that if I took Gas X on a regular basis it would help the environment.

Writer's Block: Helping the Less Fortunate

2009-04-16T22:05:57Z

What do you do for those who are less fortunate than you? What do you wish you did more of, if anything?

Writer's Block: Looking Back

2009-04-14T12:04:41Z

LiveJournal is turning 10 and we're feeling nostalgic. What was your first LJ post about?

View 503 Answers

Gravy probably.

Writer's Block: Gamer's Choice

2009-04-13T20:30:45Z

What is your favorite old-school video game?

Submitted By 2hated2care

View 505 Answers

Tetris

Writer's Block: Get Real

2009-04-10T11:13:34Z

What reality show would you most want to be a contestant on? What would your strategy for winning be?

View 500 Answers

The Biggest Loser. My strategy would be to get more lard off my body than the other people did. Even if I didn't lose the most weight at least I'd lose some. I can just see my humongous self lumbering along trying to do the excrutiating exercises the trainers make those people do. It would be very sad. Even sadder would be the times I had to walk up and weigh wearing clothing that would reveal my saggy belly and my upper arm "wingspan" and my back boobs. The entire free world would laugh at me but I'd look better and feel better when it was all over.

Writer's Block: What is your name?

2009-04-09T12:31:56Z

If you were to have another name, what would it be?

Submitted By crazyprotein

View 502 Answers

I don't like my name AT ALL!! I would like to have a nice, common name like Lisa or Susan. Michelle or Nichole would be fine too. Susan Nichole or Lisa Ann. Why do I have to have a hillbilly, hick name that all the other children made fun of when I was a youngster? It was my dad's fault. I wish it was HIS name.

Writer's Block: Grab and Go

2009-04-06T12:08:57Z

Scenario: For exactly 1 minute, you get access to all the databases of all the intelligence agencies in the world (CIA, FBI, KGB, MI-5, etc). What do you want to find out before time is up and you're caught and jailed forever?

View 503 Answers

I'd go straight to the "XFiles". I want to know where the aliens are, what they wanted/want, where they came from, what technologies we really got from them (velcro, kevlar, fiber optics, etc...). Was the Roswell incident really an alien space ship crash? Do we really have something freaky squirrelled away at Area 51 or is Area 51 just a cover for the REAL hiding place for all the freaky stuff?
This is the stuff I'd look for if I were forced to. If I were going to be "jailed forever" I would just forego the whole thing and look at lolcats instead.